Lessons From My Front Porch (cont.)

So I've done some more thinking about the front porch this week. (Thank you very much, Linda Rich!) And I've had another thought about it.

In the past, when I've read the verses above from D&C 130, I've always thought to myself "I need to learn some laws to obey, so I can get me some blessings." Ok, so I really wasn't thinking in redneck. But that was always the thought I had--to figure out what some laws were, so that I could obtain some blessings.

Last year I spent quite a bit of time composing poetry. Almost all of it was poetry inspired by beautiful words from the scriptures, and while it was a lot of mental effort, it also brought me real joy. I finished the last poem right before Christmas and started a new one sometime in January or February. I had had the idea for a while, had made some notes and done some research on my thoughts. But I could only get a few lines on paper.

Then in February Cindy Lynn got engaged and suddenly my life was busier. Lots and lots and lots of sewing. I had a wonderful time doing all of the sewing but one of the things that suffered (in addition to the laundry, the cleaning, dinners, etc) was my personal scripture study. If it did happen it was less thoughtful than it had been before. So I didn't think about the unfinished poem very often, and when I did look at it I had zero inspired thoughts.

Then in May I went out to Utah and went to the BYU Women's Conference. The speakers were wonderful and inspiring and I felt spiritually filled. And that Sunday, sitting in Relief Society, more words came to me for the poem. I realized that the reason that I had not been able to get any farther on the poem was that I not making enough effort in my life to be sure I had the spiritual nourishment necessary for that kind of inspiration.

This week as I've thought about what it means to put myself in a place that is close enough to the Son that I will be able to flower & flourish, these thoughts came together. I realized that I had been receiving a blessing (being able to write poetry) because of my obedience to a law. (Meaningful scripture study and spending enough time in spiritually nourishing activities.) Once I stopped obeying that particular law, there was nothing I could do to force the blessing to come. It was not until I moved myself closer to the Son that I again qualified. After the Women's Conference when I came home to my busy sewing (and later traveling) schedule, I was very obviously farther from the Son again, and the flowering again stopped.

It's been interesting that I haven't felt some kind of heavenly condemnation about this change in my life. I think that's partly because there are times and seasons, and 2008 has been a season of much sewing. But also partly because that's not the way Heavenly Father operates as a parent. (Even if it is the way I operate too much of the time!) What I have felt is a real longing to have those thoughts and feelings again.

I guess that now I just have to figure out how to move my flower pot.