Wednesday, March 15, 2017
I'm not sure if you know this about me, but I don't do change well at all. Not in any area of my life, really.
One place I'm almost always resistant to change is in my calling at church. Even when I feel like I've had plenty of warning from the spirit that a change is coming (which, interestingly, has happened when I've had callings that I've loved--isn't it nice of Heavenly Father to have given me a heads up?) I've still struggled with the change. And even when I've had a calling I haven't loved (bored behind the piano much???) I haven't handled change well.
Some of my less graceful responses to callings have included "no one cares about that calling" and "you want me to do what??" But despite my issues with change in general and with being asked to do something I don't want to do, I have a multifaceted testimony of callings.
I remember when I was called to be the Laurel advisor many years ago. It was the first time I really saw that there was power in being set apart. I walked into the Bishop's office, was set apart, and walked out loving Brandi Butler. And not because Brandi was easy to love, but because the spirit changed my heart.
Last year when I was called to play the piano in primary I wasn't thrilled about it. It turned out to be a good experience in several ways, though. Yes, I was bored a good amount of the time. (I'm not really good at doing a mediocre job of something while watching someone else do a mediocre job of something I'm terrific at!) But I was surprised at how often the primary songs would be in my mind, bringing peace though a difficult time in my life. Best of all, being the pianist occasionally meant I got to sub as the chorister, including teaching one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs to the primary kids last year.
At the beginning of this year I was asked to be the assistant Mia Maid advisor. The calling was presented in the least attractive way possible and I responded with my usual lack of graciousness. I was especially unhappy about having to go to YM/YW on Wednesday nights since I work on Wednesdays. And it's true, I am tired and have to take a nap between work and YW and we often eat leftovers that night. But it's also amazingly true that I'm actually enjoying myself, and loving these sweet girls who I had mostly never noticed before.
We have a terrific home teacher. He's retired now but has been a super successful businessman, a stake president, and a mission president. I noticed recently that he must have a new calling, probably something like Webelos. Every week when I get to the church (a few minutes late, of course) I see him in a room with the boys. Maybe he loves doing it. But really there's every chance he doesn't, or that he didn't when he was called. I'm inspired by his service at what is a far more taxing calling than either playing the piano or being the assistant Mia Maid advisor.
So this is my goal, for next time. To do a better job of keeping the "I hate change and am sure I will hate this calling" freak out inside my head, and give the Lord a chance to show me how wrong I am yet again.