A More Excellent Way

For the last year I have worked on changing a basic paradigm and some things about myself.  Part of this has involved a new belief about anger—that when I am angry I am always wrong, and that instead of focusing on someone else needing to change because of my anger, I need to change myself and my own heart.  It has been a long process, one at which I am still only partially successful. 

 

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I have been reading a parenting book recently that came highly recommended.  I have really loved a lot of what it has to say, but when I came to the section on anger I was confused.  I liked the first part of what it said; that when we are angry we shouldn’t yell, insult, or attack our kids.  I agreed with that, having done my fair share of yelling during the stressed & exhausted early triplet years.  But then it went on to say that anger is a fact of life, and that we shouldn’t try not to get angry, but we should instead just be careful in how we express our anger towards our kids.

I was puzzled.  Was what I was trying to do unrealistic?  Was it not in the best interest of my kids to try to learn to respond to them always in love? 

 

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Several days later I said something to the little kids about wanting to read a conference talk.  I meant that I was going to read a talk out of the last conference issue (Nov ‘10) but Jenna thought I meant any conference talk.  She ran and brought me her own copy of the conference Ensign from Nov ‘09 and told me that she had a favorite talk that I should read.  I took it upstairs to read it later.

Imagine my surprise when I started reading it…President Monson’s talk from the Priesthood session called “School They Feelings O My Brother.”  It was balm to my confused soul to read his words.  After telling a story of a tragic situation caused by anger, he quoted from the scriptures.  First Ephesians 4:26 (from the JST translation):

Can ye be angry, and not sin? let not the sun go down upon your wrath.

Then from 3 Nephi:

There shall be no disputations among you…for verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.

President Monson went on to say,

If we desire to have a proper spirit with us at all times, we must choose to refrain from becoming angry.  I testify that such is possible.

 

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What more could I ask—a response to the question in my heart, straight from the prophet.

And thank you Jenna, for bringing me the answer to the prayer I did not even know I was praying…

 

But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.

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[Please know that this post is about me and is not meant as a reflection on anyone else and where they are in their personal journey.  Also know that I’m not a fan of stuffing anger.  ;) ]