I must not be Real Simple

Before we moved I came across an advertisement for a Real Simple magazine subscription for the bargain basement price of $10/year.  I tucked it away, thinking that once I was done moving I might be interested.

After all, their motto was

life made easier, every day. 

And I had a suspicion I was going to be in a place soon where I would need some life made easier, every day.

So I waited, and then I ordered.  As I ordered I hoped that Real Simple would be the one thing I needed to help me get organized and survive the moves. 

 

Last month’s issue of Real Simple promised on the cover

40 Elegant Home Furnishings!
Design pros reveal the secret pieces they rely on to take any space from average to aha!

“Ah ha indeed!”, I thought.  “This is what I’ve been waiting for!  Because I have a new space, and I am not quite sure what to do with it!”

 

And so, one day when I needed a little pick-me-up, I ran a nice hot bath and climbed in with my Real Simple magazine in tow. 

Very quickly I realized that the decorators at Real Simple and I were on different wavelengths.

Or maybe different planets.

 

May I present the evidence?

This:

A cowhide ottoman for only $399.

This:

A fan chair, for $2500.

Even better, this:

The Zanadu chandelier, $1920.

And my personal favorite, this:

The feathered headress, only $1500. 
The designer likes to use them in groups of 3 above a bed sometimes.

 

What???

 

So you can see, I am sure, why I will not be renewing my relationship with Real Simple when this year is over.  Cause whatever version of Real Simple this is, it is not mine.