I am missing my girl...

In the last 4 months the most common question I've been asked, usually from someone with a sympathetic and understanding look in their face, is "Do you miss Cindy Lynn now that she's married?" And they have all been surprised (and probably wondered what kind of mother I was!) when I have assured them that actually, I haven't missed her.

But, you see, up until now it's been business as usual. This is Cindy Lynn's third year at BYI-I and I am used to her being gone during the fall. This fall, like the two before it, I have talked with her on the phone and spent lots of time IM'ing with her while she does her breathing treatments 2500 miles away. Things have seemed much the same as before.

Because Cindy Lynn is coming here in February to babysit while Russ & I go to Hawaii, they had planned to spend Christmas in Idaho. Instead she & Mahon are spending their first married Christmas as residents of the very exclusive Club Med at the University of Utah--so it's a good thing we hadn't planned on them coming here.

I don't think I had realized how much I would miss her this week. Every time I turn around it seems there is some Christmas tradition or memory or food that isn't complete without her here. Listening to Amy Grant sing "Breath of Heaven" reminds me of all of the times that we have listened to that while watching the Luke II video. I had to put the garlands on the stair railings myself because she wasn't here to do it. And it's not that I minded the extra work--I minded her not being here. There's been no one to make yummy homemade caramels, and no one to appreciate the little crafty Christmas presents I've been making. Sure, I send her digital pictures, but it's just not the same.

And so, on this Christmas Eve, I'd like to make a statement for the record. I miss my daughter. A lot. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, sweetie, and I can't wait to see you in 8 weeks!