Tender Mercies

But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.

 

I have felt a corner of my mind noticing and storing awareness of the tender mercies that have happened in the last few weeks; things that have or will in some way impact our well-being during this financially stressful time. 

As I’ve accumulated them, taking them out every day or so to examine and reassure myself that the Lord is aware of us and our needs, I have been grateful to see the breadth of His care and concern for us.

 

A sampling for you:

• As I already mentioned, the stock market was up the week Russ was laid off.  This allowed us to sell our stock options for several dollars a share more than we would have been able to either the week before or this week.  That is a mercy we’ll be appreciating—and eating—in the months to come.
• An announcement went around the ward that it was time to submit your new food storage order.  I’d already decided that we weren’t going to order anything this time because I’d ordered quite a lot 6 months ago and we didn’t have much extra money.  When I remembered what I had ordered 6 months ago, I was a little surprised and a lot grateful.  Want to know some of what I ordered?  A big can of chicken bouillon.  What doesn’t need chicken bouillon?  Several big cans of baking powder.  Hooray—the traditional pancakes continue!  And a big can of cocoa.  Let them eat chocolate cake!!!  What a blessing that in addition to the “regular” types of food storage, we also have these new purchases!
• I have had some strange pain for many years now.  I blame it on Jason’s birth, but it’s been so long now that I really don’t know when or where it started.  From time to time it bugs me a lot, but then usually it fades back into the background.  Several weeks ago the pain flared up in a whole new way.  Every night was a misery—I couldn’t get comfortable and usually was unable to sleep much after 3 or 4 in the morning.  In mid-October we had a ward activity and I asked the physical therapist in the ward if he thought he could help me.  He said that he thought he could, but that I wouldn’t be able to get in to see him for a first appointment until November.  When I called the next week, however, I was told that he didn’t have any openings until December.  I wasn’t too worried because the pain had actually subsided quite a bit.  I thought that waiting until December was inconvenient, but not unbearable.  Then the next day they called and said they’d had a cancellation and would I like to start treatment in a few days.  Of course I would and did.  Once I’d had the first appointment they were able to schedule me for several appointments in November as well.  (And December too, once that schedule is available.)  I didn’t think much of this, other than it was very convenient, until Russ told me that as part of the layoff his company would be paying for our insurance through December. Had I not gotten in until December, I would only have been able to have a few appointments before our insurance ended.  This is certainly not the kind of physical therapy that we will be able to afford with the insurance we will have after December.  But thanks to that tender mercy, I have the feeling that these two months are going to be just exactly what I was needing.
• The weekend before Russ was laid off I felt as if a fire had been lit beneath me.  I suddenly had a desire to paint our kitchen cabinets white & antique them, and there was no stopping me.  I worked like a crazy woman Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.  When I got Russ’s news on Thursday my immediate assumption was that Heavenly Father was giving me a “good weather jumpstart” on getting my house ready to sell.  (I’ve always known we would have to paint the cabinets or replace them in order to sell the house.)  I wasn’t happy to think about that possibility, but it was nice to think that He was aware of what was happening and helping me get things done that needed to be done.  This weekend, however, I became aware of another possible explanation.  Twice a month on Wednesday mornings I meet online with a group of people to practice working through whatever is bothering us.  We take turns, whoever has something on their mind shares what they’re going through and everyone else asks questions and contributes ideas as to what might help deal with the issue at hand.  It is typically a supportive and loving experience.  Well…. Last week I actually skipped the group.  I felt such pressure to use every bit of those last few days of good weather that I couldn’t justify taking two hours for anything else.  I spent my morning finishing up Jared’s halloween costume and then sanding & priming cabinet doors.  I thought briefly of what I was missing but was too busy to think of it after that.  What I found out a few days ago was that for some reason, last week the group had not gone as expected.  Someone had been angry and taken it out on the other people there, people who were there with their hearts open ready to be loving and helpful.  I don’t know much of what was said, but I know it was extremely painful to those on the receiving end.  As I was told just a little of what had happened a thought occurred in my mind.  Up until this point my assumption was that painting the cabinets meant we absolutely were going to be moving.  But I realized there could be another explanation as well.  Because painting the cabinets, if it accomplishes nothing else, did this for me.  It kept me away from an emotionally distressing situation last Wednesday morning.  So on Thursday morning, when Russ called with his devastating news, I was still in a stable and happy place emotionally.  A place from which I was able to be supportive and loving instead of the fearful needy mess I might have been.  And that was a mercy indeed.
• The last tender mercy (which mercifully will be shorter!) is that this time around Cindy Lynn is a grownup with her own insurance.  When Russ’s company closed in 2005 that was our all consuming worry—how we would insure Cindy Lynn.  As I said before, he had a new job before the old one ended so there ended up being no lapse in our insurance coverage.  But before we know he would get that new job, the insurance problem was overwhelming to us.  Not having to worry about her insurance this time is a huge relief.

 

This morning during my scripture study I felt lead to read Elder Bednar’s conference talk on tender mercies.  I’ve always remembered how much I loved that talk, but in re-reading it realized how much I needed a good refresher right now.  Here are the parts that stood out to me.

I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence.

I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ.

We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance…

 

And finally, a line from one of my favorite songs that Diana reminded me of in her excellent talk at Stake Conference.

Hast thou not seen, how all thou needest has been
Granted in what he ordaineth…

I ♥ My Little OCD Reader

For a long time my little kids struggled with reading. They (with their born-11-weeks-prematurely brains) took much longer to learn than my older children (with their born-at-39-or-41-weeks-gestation-just-like-they-should-have-been brains) did, and took even longer to read fluently or easily.

Part of the problem in a situation like that is cyclical. No one likes to do anything that is too hard, but when you don’t do the hard thing it doesn’t get any easier, and then you keep not liking to do it because it’s so hard. And on and on.

We read to them and read to them and read to them. If you’ll remember, Russ read ALL 7 of the Harry Potter books to them, a feat that still astounds me. (Have I mentioned lately that he is the best? [Russ, not Harry Potter.] Because I really think he is. [Russ, not Harry Potter.] But I digress.) All of that reading didn’t seem like it was moving them towards being truly independent readers, a trait we cherish around here.

Jenna finally started doing some reading on her own. Then one summer while we were visiting in Utah a cousin introduced Rachel to a series of books about cats, called Warriors. Well anything animal related appeals to Rachel, and both she and Jenna started reading these books. They loved them and couldn’t get enough. Eventually Jared started reading them too and I was happy.

But after about 18 months of solid of warrior cats reading I started worrying. I didn’t want them only reading one type of book. Because this woman has written an unbelievable amount of books about these warrior cats, but one day they’re going to run out, and I don’t want them coming to the end of the warrior cat books and thinking that there’s nothing else out there that they would enjoy reading. (I do know a person who believes, quite seriously, that there’s only one author in the world that he can enjoy reading.)

Eventually I decided to try a little incentive. (This was when we could still afford incentives, obviously.) I told them I would pay 50 cents/book for any book not in their regular reading programme. Jenna branched out in a few different directions, and then Jared tried something new. But Rachel still resisted, not wanting to stop the warrior cat series she was currently on.

Then, for some reason, she started looking at our bookshelves. When next I saw, she had something different on her menu. But was it just one book? On no, not Rachel-the-fan-of-series reader. Rachel had found “Ramona the Pest.” “Ramona and her Mother” and “Ramona and her Father.” A whole stack of Ramona books accumulated though out the years. And guess what. She read them all, in order, and requested the books from the library that we were missing.

It totally made me laugh, because I’m really like that in my reading. If there is a series, I don’t want to read just one book. I want to read all of them. And in order, of course. Sometimes I avoid reading a book because I know it comes in a series, and if I read one I’ll want to read them all. And I HATE having read something out of order and finding out information I shouldn’t have known until later. (Though, truth be told, I have been known to read the 3rd book in the Anne of Green Gables series all by itself just because the romance is so delicious that sometimes I cannot resist it.)

So the girls are back to their warrior reading now. Rachel finished a book today and told me how wonderful it was. Jared has plans to read a book in his other favorite series as soon as he finished “The Alliance.” But at least they’ve all tried (and liked) some new things, at least now they know there are other things out there that the really will enjoy reading.

I think it was money well spent…

Where there's a will, there's a way...

(Though I would not have believed it was possible...)

I ♥ Perspective

Just a little while ago I got an odd voice mail from a person I don’t know very well.

“Cindy, are you ok?” she asked. I thought she sounded a little overly concerned, especially as she continued, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

I was touched that she had heard our family’s stressful news and called to check on me, so I returned her call as quickly as possible.

When she answered the phone I quickly identified myself and told her that I was returning her call. She interrupted me, saying, “Cindy, someone just told me that you had lost your husband.”

Wow.

In that moment I could see clearly how relatively unimportant a job is. A million jobs will never be as important to me as just having my husband.

We laughed about the misunderstanding and I thanked her for her concern and caring. We chatted for a few minutes before we said goodbye. But I am left with the feeling of what might have been. What if I had lost my husband, rather than him merely losing his job.

That would be a tragedy…

The Not-Insignificant Commandment & November’s Plan

Whenever I’m telling a story about someone and my kids demand to know who the story is about, I tell them that it’s about people that I knew long ago and far away…and so tonight I start with a story from long ago and far away, and no, you have no clue who I’m talking about.

Long ago and far away I knew a young family.  Both parents had good jobs and they had many of the comforts of life.  When they bought a house they chose to buy in the best area that they could possibly afford, sure that this would mean their children would eventually enjoy better schools and that their house would appreciate in value.  Unfortunately this also meant that they were constantly surrounded by people who had even more of life’s comforts than they did; newer cars, nicer clothes, better jobs, more luxurious vacations.  Seeing all of these luxuries all around her had the effect of making my friend unable to see the luxuries she enjoyed in her own life.  All she talked about was her dissatisfaction with what she had.

Any thinking I had ever done about the ten commandments up to that point in my life had probably gone like this:

No other Gods, no graven images…ok, that makes sense.  Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain…I can see that He might not like that, keep the sabbath holy, ok.  Honor parents, probably a good idea.  Don’t kill, commit adultery, steal, lie.  Well of course!  Don’t covet—not animals, not people or relationships, not servants, not anything.  Huh?  Why on earth not?  What is the big deal with coveting that it’s listed with these other really important things???

For the first time in my life I could see a real reason that coveting might be in the “big ten.”  When my friend was busy coveting her neighbor’s ox and her visiting teacher’s maidservent, it completely changed her heart.  It changed the way she felt about her neighbor and her visiting teacher, it changed the way she felt about her husband and what he provided, and it changed the way she felt about God.  (And what He provided.)

 

Despite this understanding so many years ago, I continue to be surprised at the (negative) power of coveting.  It truly does change our hearts and makes it impossible to fully obey yet another commandment,the one to be grateful. 

“Ye must give thanks unto God in the Spirit for whatsoever blessing ye are blessed with…” (D&C 46:32).

And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments. (D&C 59:21)

Cindy Lynn wrote a really excellent blog post about this a couple of months ago while she was in the hospital. 

 

I’ve been thinking about this idea since then.  How this feels like the most insignificant of commandments, how it is the one that we can break multiple times every day, and how it has the potential to make the biggest difference in how we feel about our lives. 

I’ve been getting a refresher course on this since Russ’s big news last week.  I can focus on the fact that he got a decent severance package, and feel happy.  Or I can focus on the fact that he got laid off at all and feel angry and tense.  I can be grateful that we got to keep & sell the stock options and feel such relief.  Or I can focus on the stock options that would have been ours next summer and just feel bitter and frustrated.  Over and over again I’m seeing that what I choose to focus on, and whether or not  I let myself break this “insignificant” commandment, makes all the difference in the world about whether or not I feel peace and joy from moment to moment.

 

I’ve never killed anyone, though I might have come close a time or two when the triplets were little.  I try not to lie, and I don’t remember ever stealing anything.  I try really hard to keep the other commandments too.  And it’s time for me to try even harder not to break the 10th commandment.  So in November, in addition to the other things that are going on in my life, I’m going to blog about things I love.  Big things and little things.   Things that make me really happy that I sometimes forget to focus on enough.  Things that will help me be constantly grateful to God…

Halloween Feats, Treats & Eats

A couple of weeks ago I posted that I didn’t know how to keep track of recipes I like or want to try.  Two of my (wonderful) friends suggested that I used pinterest.  At first I was dubious—it took me a couple of days to catch a vision of what pinterest could do for me.  But now I’m hooked, completely.  Here are pictures of our Halloween, courtesy of pinterest.  (And Goodwill, but I’ll talk about that later.)  Several of the ideas came from the site itself, and several that I found in other places I pinned on my Halloween board so that I would remember the things I wanted to do.  Now I’m going to leave myself notes in the comments so I’ll know what worked well for next year, and what I need to do differently.  (Besides start cooking earlier!)  Without further ado, our Halloween fun!

I used to think I wasn’t a fun food person.  I’ve decided in the last few years that I’m not a creative food person.  But given the right set of circumstances, I’m totally up for trying someone else’s creative idea.  I brought fun Halloween food for our party today:

Mummy dogs, Apple mouths, Ghost cupcakes, and candy corn cookies.

For dinner tonight we had these tasty treats—

Pizza ball eyes, and Spaghetti & meatballs.

If our Halloween had a theme this year, it would probably have been eyes. 

I saw directions for a really awesome Halloween Wreath and pinned that on pinterest too to be sure I wouldn’t forget.  The girls had a great time making the wreath while I worked on costumes the other day.

Here is the finished product on our front door today, complete with glow in the dark paint on the letters!

Not all of our fun was via pinterest, of course.  We had a great time carving our pumpkins last night.  Here they are out on the front porch tonight.

The first two are Rachel’s, and the Owl pumpkin is Jenna’s.

Jared’s, Jenna’s 2nd, and mine.

And finally, the costumes.  These were all their own ideas this year—the girls were vampires (Russ called them vampire princesses when they added their new skirts to the mix) and Jared was an escaped prisoner.  He had glow in the dark paint on his writing on his back, but I never did see him in the dark so I don’t know how well it worked.

All in all, a very fun Halloween!

Is it time for a total career change?

I read online the day that Russ got laid off that Iron Man 3 is being filmed in Wilmington, starting soon.  The article said,

The production is expected to create 550 jobs for tradesmen, technicians and other crew members and more than 1,000 spots for actors and other talent.

Clearly, this is a chance for a new life for us…