Sunday, August 14, 2011

Chasing the Greased Pig: Date Night

 

A few days ago I was talking to a friend about marriage.  My friend made the comment that marriage is sometimes hard work, and that marriages need time and attention to make sure that they stay strong.

The next day I happened across an article called “Love is Like a Greased Pig.”  The author said,

“True love doesn’t follow you like a little puppy that is constantly there. It’s actually more like a greased pig! You have to chase after it and pursue it. You have to run it down and tackle it and when it gets away, you go after it one more time. You may finally get a hold of it for a while, but then the little rascal can slip away and you have to chase it down again.”

I loved this.  It was exactly what my friend and I were talking about.  Sometimes marriage (which for my purposes also means love) goes along without a hitch.  Sometimes every conversation and every hug is like a magic moment.  But just as often marriage slips between the cracks, we don’t manage to have any conversations, and we begin to feel distant from each other.

Those are the greased pig moments.  And I LOVE the image of chasing the greased pig.  Because that’s how determined I want to be to keep love alive in my marriage.  And Russ loves the image.  Because he knows he’s the greased pig. 
Winking smile

Friday night we went on a much needed date—this summer has been full of amazing experiences, but not much bonding time for the two of us.  So we started the evening by using a groupon to a local Indian restaurant.  Yum, yum, thank you to Amy for telling us what to order! 

We ended the evening by watching the new movie, “The Help.”  I loved it.  We loved it.  You’re not going to believe I’m saying this, but I liked this better than Harry Potter 7B.  It was more emotionally satisfying than I cold have believed…

 

And the greased pig is resting happily in his pen. 

Pictures: Entering the MTC

One last group of pictures of Jason.  First, before he left we made sure he was going to be a stylish missionary.  In the only way missionaries are able to be stylish…

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Here he is before leaving his grandparent’s Wednesday morning.

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He went with Cindy Lynn and Mahon to have lunch at Panda Express before going to the MTC, and he got an AWESOME fortune!

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And here he is, getting his luggage and walking off with his MTC escort.  It’s still unbelievable to me!

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Saturday, August 13, 2011

We Got a Letter!!!

We had our first communication from Jason today; first a letter in the mail written from the MTC Wednesday night, then today an email! Hooray!!

If you're interested in seeing what he had to say, you can read it on his missionary blog.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Goodbyes

August 2011 177This one was before he was set apart…

We took the rest of these before we left for the airport.

 August 2011 255 August 2011 259 August 2011 260 August 2011 264 August 2011 258 August 2011 262

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Jason’s Last Night:
Rough Start, Great Finish!

I had all sorts of hopes and dreams for our family for the night before Cindy Lynn got married; I saw it as a pivotal moment in our family, and I wanted it to be a last time to bond and celebrate our family. Instead the photographer wanted us to look at the zillions of pictures she’d taken and that took forever, and the restaurant took over an hour to bring our food. By the time I even got dinner I think it was close to 10pm and I’d lost that loving feeling. Completely. The wedding still went off beautifully and we had a great time. But I regretted not having that moment together. And I was very happy when we really did have the exact moment I’d envisioned the next summer.

I also had ideas of how I wanted Jason’s last night at home to feel. We were going to go to Duke Gardens to have a family picture taken, (thank you Lindsay!!!) but then I wanted us to really spend time together as a family.

Our evening got off to a rough start. When we got to Duke Gardens it was about 90 degrees, but it didn’t feel too bad. We made our way to the duck pond where there are some cool rocks that have been the backdrop for pictures over the years. When we started trying to arrange people on the rocks things started to get a little dicey. Not only were the rocks hard as, well, rocks, (to be expected) they were also hot as could be from the accumulated heat of the day. (unexpected) So in addition to the 90 degrees, and the 90% humidity, now we had an oven-like environment thanks to the rocks. It was not very pleasant. I begged and bribed and cajoled and brought out frozen water bottles, and somehow we got through it. When it was over we were ALL dripping with sweat, including our lovely photographer.

Then came the next rough part of our evening. I always provide an incentive when we’re going to have family pictures. (Doesn’t incentive sound so much better than bribe?) I learned the year Cindy Lynn graduated and we took our first big beach picture that just because we were paying a lot of money for a picture and it was fantastically important to me didn’t mean people’s faces were going to cooperate. My family is now trained that if they cooperate, there’s something good coming for them afterwards. I’d known that it would be a warm adventure to have a family picture taken on an August evening, so I’d proposed several options that could cool us down afterwards. One was to go to Cookout, a little drive through place where Jason worked his senior year, for milkshakes. The other was to go to ChickFilA. The little kids were dead set on going to cookout—but I hadn’t realized that there was no place to stay there and eat our shakes outside. Plus, it was outside and we were so hot already! It took a while but I finally got everyone to agree that going to ChickFilA would be acceptable, so we climbed into our blissfully air-conditioned cars and took off.

Once we got to ChickFilA things got much much better. The cashier was a little overwhelmed by our order of 10 milkshakes, a brownie, fries, and 9 ice waters, but she was a good sport and even offered to bring them out to us. The little kids went to play in the play area (thankfully we were the only ones there so no one noticed that we were pushing the size limits) and we pulled a couple of tables together and sat down. We had such fun there—still cooling off, just chatting and laughing and enjoying each other’s company. The waffle fries didn’t go far, so Russ had to keep going back to order more. Josh thought their new ketchup packets were so cool that he brought a couple home with him. (Don’t ask me why!) And the kids were all thrilled to have their very own milkshake. (I think sharing is a very healthy skill to grow up with. And I am too frugal to buy people their own shakes, usually.) We stayed at ChickFilA long enough that the manager brought us out a pile of coupons for free chicken sandwiches. Nice!

When we got home we started the little kids moving towards bed and then Cindy Lynn asked if we wanted to play a game while she did therapy. I readily agreed and persuaded Jason that he should play one last game of german Ticket to Ride with us. It was a tough and competitive game, and we had lots of fun.

August 2011 226

When we were done playing Jason went and did a little more packing and I hemmed his white pants. After that we played a few rounds of speed scrabble. Then, before bed, Russ gave both Jason and Cindy Lynn father’s blessings. It was really a beautiful and tender moment. I could hear in Russ’s blessing for Jason many thoughts and feelings about his own mission, and it touched my heart deeply to hear him draw from his own experiences to bless Jason. I think by the time he was done giving Cindy Lynn a blessing we were all teary (except maybe Mahon). By the time we all went to bed I was feeling deeply satisfied with our evening and the time spent together. One last round of memories to get us through the next two years!

Ray Family Picture final

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Picture That Exists Only in My Heart

My bathroom counter is cleaned off now, most of the laundry is done, and the kitchen is relatively clean.  It’s amazing how much better that feels…Over the next few days I hope to be posting pictures from our last few days with Jason.  But today I’m going to write about the picture I didn’t take.

 

On Sunday evening we met with President Milton at the church so that Jason could be set apart as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  President Milton was wonderful—he had a list of scriptures that he wanted us to read, and he had each of the little kids read some of the verses so that it would be easier for them to pay attention.  The scriptures were just what we needed to hear; verses about being called to labor as a missionary, about missionary work being the Lord’s work, and scriptures about the importance of unity in order to invite the spirit.  I think when we were done reading the different verses we all felt touched by the spirit about how important this work is to our Heavenly Father.

And then President Milton invited Jason to come up and sit on a chair in the front of our group.  He invited Russ to come and help with the ordinance, and Jason also invited Ken and Mahon to stand in the circle.  They put their hands on Jason’s head and President Milton set him apart as a missionary.

 

Normally when a prayer or ordinance like that starts, I immediately and instinctively go into prayer mode; head bowed, eyes closed, arms folded.  But this time I didn’t.  I made a conscious decision to look at what was happening, wanting a visual image for my mind and heart to go along with the memory of the words I was about to hear.

 

What I saw was beautiful.  Through the space between Russ and Mahon I could see Jason perfectly, sitting with his eyes closed and their hands on his head. President Milton first set him apart as a missionary and then gave him a beautiful blessing of strength, peace, and wisdom.  I sat and watched for several moments, realizing that this was the culmination of much of what we have worked and prayed towards for all of Jason’s life.  I watched my son’s face, proud of the boy he has been and excited about the man he will start to become. 

 

And then, picture safely tucked away in my heart, I too closed my eyes and bowed my head. 

August 2011 188 Elder Jason David Ray

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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Empty Space

My brain has been whirling furiously for the last few days; blog thoughts bouncing around in there with lists of last minute things needing to be done.  I had assumed that after all of our goodbyes were said this morning I would come home and spend my day blogging, a well deserved rest.

Instead my brain is empty, empty and really tired. 

So I will keep trying to get this mess that is our house cleaned back up again, and assume that at some point the thoughts will come back…