Monday, June 16, 2014

Projectile

I have in my mind an image of what my life will look like, will feel like.  It will be a life of deliberateness and connection and above all, a life with a measured tempo.

Instead.

Instead…

Instead I feel myself hurtling, projectile-like, from one calendar item to the next, the breaks in between inevitably crammed with the necessary minutiae of living and raising a family.

I find myself unwilling to give things up, to pare back where I could.  I can see why some would, but in cutting back I would lose the things that are for me, the things that add zest and happiness to life.

And so I will  keep on keeping on.  Hurtling through time and space, wishing for that calm picture in my mind and yet knowing that it cannot, it will not exist.  Because I am unwilling to make it happen.

2 comments:

  1. You must have been listening in on Brian's and my tearful conversation last night! (my tears, not his) I so hear you! I'm still under the delusion that it CAN work... Somehow... If I could only create that perfect schedule where everything gets done and I still have plenty of extra time... Somehow.

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  2. This, too, shall pass, then you'll wonder where the years went.

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