My favorite bird in Oregon (besides the hummers)
Steller’s Jay—isn’t he gorgeous?!?
I read something online about it being important not to feed the squirrels. Apparently they didn’t get the same message.
And last, I’m thinking these are immature blue jays?
(ok that last picture was complete and total luck.)
And this concludes today’s tour of the bird feeder and it’s environs.
I was driving on Latta one day, early in our life in North Carolina. I was listening to talk radio as I often did in the days before my kids got old enough to notice what was being talked about. The psychologist said, and I have remembered forever,
Expectations are the death of serenity.
I had NO idea what she meant. How could you live without expectations, I wondered???
In the intervening years I’ve thought about this and thought about it and thought about it. Sometime in the last 10 years I finally began to see the truth of the matter—that expectations kept me from being able to appreciate what was, and set me up to experience frustration because of things I had no control over.
One time I was involved in an activity with a group of women, some of whom I knew well and some of whom I didn’t know very well. One of the women that I didn’t know well wasn’t able to stay for all of our activity. Because I really didn’t know her I wasn’t that invested in her participation and felt neutral about her leaving. I watched one of the women I did know be very upset with this other woman, just because she had the expectation that she would be able to participate fully. It was interesting to me to observe that the same situation (one woman’s lack of full participation) really bugged someone else and yet didn’t bother me at all—all because of our expectations.
There are several situations in my life that teach me this principle on a regular basis. In one situation I am usually able to function without expectations. As long as I do, the relationships involved are fine and I am happy. As soon as I let even the smallest expectation creep in, I’m almost blindsided by my irritation and frustration. In another relationship I’ve had a much harder time letting go of long standing expectations, and this situation is usually a stressful one for me. In the moments where I do manage to let go of my expectations I am able to enjoy the relationship without all of the negative feelings.
These days I’m trying to move forward without expectations, and I’m praying to be able to let go of the expectations I already have. Because heaven knows, I could use some serenity.
Frequently (I’d probably be embarrassed to know just how often) when I am involved in the crush of day to day activities and to-do lists a thought inches forward from the back corner of my mind,
It sure would be nice to have a sick day…
And then I tell myself not to be stupid and how glad I am that I am almost never sick and to get back to work.
Last night we finished dinner and sat down on the couch and I thought “I am exhausted. Wiped out.” I could tell it wasn’t a normal night when I decided that I was really going to go to bed before 9. By then I could also tell I was aching more than my usual amount, and that my normally helpful stretches weren’t making any difference. Typically the medicine I take before bed (that helps with muscle pain) is plenty to help me sleep well, but last night just to be sure I took 1/2 of a sleeping pill as well. Turns out my fears were well-founded—I spent the night shifting restlessly and finally gave up and slept the last half of the night in my comfy recliner. By the time morning came I was sure of it:
I was sick.
I am reminded again today of the things I always remember when I’m sick:
I don’t feel too bad right now, but that’s after 3 ibuprofen (an unheard of number for me) and a long hot bath. I have hardly done a thing all day and already I’m restless and bored and wanting my regular life back.
I figured at the least I could sit here with the computer and work on some easy tasks. Maybe the words will even start flowing and I’ll get a little batch blogging done, who knows. But one thing is for sure—I’m hoping that tomorrow morning the regular me is back!
For the last 6 months I find myself blogging in what I would call “fits & spurts.” [Or would I would have called fits and spurts before I googled it and found out that another term for intermittent is actually “fits & starts.” Really???]
Anyway, intermittent blogging. It’s not really what I want to do. I want to be recording my life as I hum along. I want to be recording my thoughts (profound or random, either one) as I have them.
And yet it is SO HARD to accomplish that. Hard because it’s not just a matter of finding some time in my day, but also a matter of finding the right kind of time. You know, the non brain dead kind of time. The kind where words will actually come out of my brain and onto my screen through my fingers. Coherent, meaningful words. And some days that kind of time is in very short supply…
I’ve been trying to do some “batch” blogging, taking advantage of the moments where I do have time and words and planning several posts at once. I have to keep reminding myself that in the end, it is what it is. And since it’s all just for me anyway, that will have to be ok.
Remember our fight against the invasive bamboo last year? Well it appears to be almost that time again. Here is a picture I just took from the driveway.
1=little shoots of bamboo that have been around for some time now.
2=a stalk of bamboo that showed up a few days ago.
3=a stalk of bamboo that just showed up yesterday morning.
This year my strategy is going to be slightly different. I’m going to go back to the bamboo place and buy some bamboo barrier. You have to dig a hole that is 2 feet deep, line it with this barrier, then refill it with dirt. Then I’m going to try to dig up the rhizomes that have produced these new shoots and transplant them to the spot in my backyard where I want a big bamboo screen. Will it work? Who knows, but it’s definitely worth a try. And maybe I need a little bamboo barrier by my driveway too!
So—in addition to getting to take an awesome trip that included Mother’s Day (because otherwise I would have run into Memorial Day weekend) and in addition to the lovely roses & chocolates that Brian brought for me as well as for Lindsay, there was a mother’s day surprise waiting for me here at home. I was really curious when Russ started talking about it, because he mentioned that they had worked on it both Saturdays and I just couldn’t figure out what it could be.
Well.
This is TOTAL AWESOMENESS. COMPLETE. As in So. Happy.
I don’t have a picture from before to show you how bad the garage had been, but let’s just say this was probably hours & hours of work to get it to this point. What a terrific mother’s day surprise!!
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