Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Thanks, Mom

I've been seriously depressed for several days without an explanation.  I just couldn't figure out what my problem was--sure, it's been gray and rainy, but there's also been plenty of cool (and relatively bright) fog.  My shoulder seems to have been hurt in the little accident we had on the way to church a week and a half ago, but since an agonizing couple of hours Sunday night it's been feeling quite a bit better.  I've been taking my vitamins (including the all important D) regularly.  I just couldn't figure it out.

And then Andra posted on facebook this morning-- that no matter how much she tries not to pay attention, her subconscious always knows when it is the anniversary of our mom's death.

"Ohhhhh," I thought as I sat there,  "That's why I've been so incredibly sad..." Amazingly, that understanding was like a cleansing breeze that blew through my mind and heart.

This evening I left the house a few minutes late to pick Jared up from wrestling.  I noticed that the sky had cleared a little from it's earlier grey.  I drove north and then turned west, right into what was quite possibly the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen.  There were low clouds just above the mountains, but above them were large bands of an incredibly vivid pink.

To pick up Jared I had to turn away from the sunset, but I kept watching in my rearview mirror to be sure it was still there.  As soon as he was in the car (even before the door was closed) I started forward, wanting to go somewhere where we had a better view of the sunset without the obstruction of the tall evergreens.  Thank goodness the light was still good when we found a side road to pull off on, and we sat there admiring the view.  The fields just beyond where we sat had a thin layer of fog starting to rise from them.  Beyond that we saw a farm house, a barn, and some smaller trees.  In the distance we could see layers of mountains.  And above those, against the grey-blue sky, those bright pink streaks.

My mom didn't have a lot of chances until later in her life to do artistic things, but she sure loved painting.  Whenever Andra sees a beautiful sunset she always tells her kids that Grandma painted it for them.  Looking at that sunset tonight, from the moment I came around the corner, I knew that whether or not my mom painted it, she sent it for me.  A healing message of love for my sorrowing heart.

Thanks, Mom!

ps--I didn't have a camera with me so we tried taking pictures with Jared's cell phone.  Sunset pictures are notoriously hard to take anyway, even with a good camera.  I've had cameras that have enhanced the sunset and cameras that have refused to acknowledge the sunset.  Jared's phone picked up much more yellow than what we saw, and the pinks were washed out.  I found a picture online that showed the intensity of the pink, though our sunset didn't fill this much of the sky.


  1. What an amazing woman your mother was. I had no doubt that she loved me. I could always count on her for a hug.

  2. I loved your mom so much. She was one of my mentors and taught me so many valuable lessons. I think of her often.

    1. She loved you too! That's what made me look for your blog when I saw something posted on facebook about it. :)