This is one of those moments.

There are moments you remember all your life,
There are moments you wait for and dream of all your life,
This is one of those moments.

In one part of my brain having babies in the nicu seems like a dream, long ago and far away and fuzzy when I try to remember it. 

Another part of my brain remembers is like yesterday: going from isolette to isolette, holding each tiny baby, marveling over their tiny size.

I remember Jared wearing "real" clothes for the first time, clothes that today look like doll clothes but then were enormous on him.

And today that baby, my baby, blessed the sacrament for the first time.

Spiffy in his new white shirt and favorite turquoise bow tie, voice surprisingly calm, he did a great job and I had tears in my eyes.

Landmark moments always stand out, but there is something about hitting these landmarks with my babies.  A huge whoosh of "I can't believe we're here/how on earth did this happen" wells up inside of me every time. A combination of "how did we get here" and "I can't believe we've survived this long" and "I think this might be going too fast."

Today felt like that as I sat there and watched him and listened to him and wiped away the tears and took a mental picture.

This is one of those moments...

They're 16!!!!

There have been a handful of experiences in my life that have been so difficult that I truly didn't trust that I would survive them.  Having triplets was definitely like that.

It wasn't that the *having* of them was so difficult.  Sure, the bedrest wasn't great (except for watching Walker, Texas Ranger every night!),  eating so much food wasn't nearly as much fun as you'd think it would be, and by the end I was uncomfortable.  After they were born they were in the hospital for 6-8 weeks and while that was inconvenient in real ways, it wasn't something that couldn't be survived.

But having them all at home?  That's when the hard part really started, and there were many moments over the next 3.5 years that I wasn't at all sure I was going to make it.  Sleep deprivation moments, breast pump moments, postpartum depression moments, blowout and throw up moments, chicken pox moments, tantrum moments, etc.  It was overwhelming on a regular basis.  Early on another triplet mom had told me that it would get better when they were 3.5, and I wasn't sure I would make it that long...much less until they were 16.

But I did survive until they were 3.5 and she was right, things got much better.  In fact having triplets turned into a fun thing instead of a terrible thing, and since then it has just gotten better and better.  And now I sit in a darkened bedroom at the beach with Russ sleeping on the bed next to me and think that I can't believe it's actually been 16 years, that those tiny babies are now high-schoolers who are learning to drive and who keep our home filled with happiness.  In the doctor's office the day we found out we were having triplets I wondered why on earth this had happened, but for the last 13 years I've just been so glad that it did.  I've gone from "why me" to "lucky me," and although I worry about how much it will cost to get them all through college, I kind of feel sad for everyone who won't get to experience the cuteness and fun that these kids have brought into our lives.

Happy birthday to my wonderful kids!

PS--if you're curious to know more about their unusual entrance into the world, you can read about it here:  http://crayzdaze.blogspot.com/2009/06/summer-storms.html