Falling into the Void

One of the most dramatic sequences in the Fellowship of the Ring (the first movie in the Lord of the Rings trilogy for those of you not lucky enough to have watched the entire trilogy often enough to have it permanently burned into your memory) takes place underground, in the mines of Moria.  As Frodo and his group of friends are trying to leave the mines they have to cross the narrow bridge of Khazad-dum.  Gandalf the Grey (the wizard) is trying to stop the demon balrog that is chasing them.  As he and the balrog are battling, part of the bridge is broken.  The balrog falls, wrapping it’s whip around Gandalf and pulling him off of the bridge.  He manages to catch the very edge of the bridge with his fingers, hangs there for a tension-filled moment, urges “Fly, you fools!,” then appears to deliberately let go.

I’ve wondered about this for a long time.  It really looks like the balrog is falling and essentially out of the picture.  So why then would Gandalf let go? 

I asked Cindy Lynn what she thought (I know you probably don’t think this is possible, but Cindy Lynn has both read and watched The Lord of the Rings even more than I have!) and she had an interesting idea.  She said that she thought Gandalf understood that this would provide experience that he needed to become an even better/more powerful wizard.

When we next see Gandalf, he has become Gandalf the White.  He is more powerful and is now the leader of the order of wizards because of the wisdom he has gained.

He explains that he fell…

…through fire and water.
From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak,
I fought with the Balrog of Morgoth.
Until at last, I threw down my enemy
and smote his ruin upon the mountainside.
Darkness took me.
And I strayed out of thought and time.
Stars wheeled overhead
and everyday was as long as a life-age of the earth.
But it was not the end.

I’ve been thinking about this.  Thinking about the courage it takes to let go and fall into the unknown, suspecting that this is the path to further growth and progression.  Thinking that it would have been a different kind of movie if Gandalf hadn’t let go.  If he had kicked and screamed and begged someone to come back and rescue him.  If he had refused the growth experiences that lay ahead of him, preferring instead to stay with his friends and maintain the status quo.

But he didn’t. He let go, and fell into the void.

 

Russ and I have been hanging onto our own broken bridge recently.  Suspecting that no matter how much we want to hang on to where we are, to climb back up and follow our friends, there is an important experience ahead of us that involves letting go of what we know and what we love. 

It turns out that when we let go of the end of the bridge, we’re going to end up in Hillsboro, Oregon.  It may not be from the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, but it certainly is almost as far away in the continental United States as it is possible to go from our happy place in North Carolina.  We’ll be leaving the beautifully warm ocean and traveling almost to the frigidly cold ocean.  And we’ll have to spend time apart, possibly a significant amount of time as he will start work at Intel in mid February and the kids and I will need to stay for a couple of months longer. 

I’m just praying that the experience gives us some wisdom and that it doesn’t turn my hair white as Gandalfs.

Wish us luck…