Magic connections

There's some magic in a real connection, I think.  You can't guarantee it will happen, you can't make it happen, you can just hope.  A lot of the time Russ & I live our lives in our normal pattern.  Normal hugs before and after work, normal kisses in the kitchen, normal conversation about what just happened or what's coming up.  But sometimes, usually later at night, magic happens and there's a different connection, a connection beyond the mundane.  Then we talk and talk and talk.  Work issues and resolutions, interactions, stories, frustrations, laughter about excel files that are just moments from becoming sentient.  Laughing and listening and knowing that we're going to really pay for this late night tomorrow, but always so glad it happened.

You can't make it happen, I've tried before.  That's how I know that when it does happen it's magic.

Can’t Help Loving That Man of Mine

One night we were sitting at the big table in the beach house playing The Game of Things.  (An excellent and always hilarious game—we highly recommend it.)  The format is easy and always funny.  The reader reads a prompt that starts “Things that…” and then it continues with something like “you shouldn’t do in a cemetary,”  or “you shouldn’t say to your boss,” or “will keep you out of heaven.”  And on and on.  I’m sure you get the idea.  Then you try to guess who wrote each answer.  One of the interesting things about this type of game is that themes develop over the course of a game.  We’re still laughing about the time that everyone’s answers included some variation of Dick Cheney shooting someone.  Or the time the good answers included Lindsay Lohan and/or (probably and!) viagra.

I can’t remember what the first prompt was that night, but someone’s answer was “Can’t help loving that man of mine.”  It was repeated over and over again in different variations for the rest of the night.  The highlight was probably when Mahon (who was trying to figure out if he knew who had written a particular answer) asked Jason, “Jason, are you ‘Loving that man of mine?’”  Awesome moment.

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I was just looking through some pictures from the beach this year that I hadn’t looked at before.  In the middle of a group shot with everyone doing their own version of crazy, I saw this:

And when I saw it, I promise you I thought, oh yes.  That is who he is.  Sweet.  Cute.  Slightly mischievous.  And that is exactly how I feel about him.  Entertained.  Amused.  Delighted.  Because I really can’t help loving that man of mine.

It doesn’t always feel that way, of course.  Life gets in the way so much of the time and and we feel more business than bliss.  But then we have a moment like this long weekend, where we end up getting to do a lot of things together.  We talked and laughed and planned and dug bamboo.  It was a great two days, and I felt exactly the way that picture shows me looking at him.  Can’t help it, you know. 

Happy Mother’s Day to me

So—in addition to getting to take an awesome trip that included Mother’s Day (because otherwise I would have run into Memorial Day weekend) and in addition to the lovely roses & chocolates that Brian brought for me as well as for Lindsay, there was a mother’s day surprise waiting for me here at home.  I was really curious when Russ started talking about it, because he mentioned that they had worked on it both Saturdays and I just couldn’t figure out what it could be.

Well.

This is TOTAL AWESOMENESS.  COMPLETE.  As in So. Happy.

I don’t have a picture from before to show you how bad the garage had been, but let’s just say this was probably hours & hours of work to get it to this point.  What a terrific mother’s day surprise!!

I Celebrate the (other) Day

I’ve mentioned before that one of my favorite Christmas songs is a song by a group called Relient K called “I Celebrate the Day.”  I go around singing it for weeks before and after Christmas.

Today I’m singing about another day, though.  On Tuesday we went to the wedding of our sweet young friend.  I sat in the temple and watched them kneel across the altar from each other and thought that 26 years and 363 days ago it was Russ & I kneeling across the altar in the Altanta temple.  I celebrate that decision every day of my life—the decision to join my life with a man so kind and loving that sometimes I (still) have to pinch myself to make sure that I’m really not dreaming. 

So today, even though I’m driving from Utah to Washington with Rachel, Jared, Ken, Alisyn & Connor, in my heart I’m celebrating that day 27 years ago.  Kind of amazed that it feels like just a moment ago, and bemused that it can seem at the same time that we have been together forever.  And always so so grateful.

How I can tell it’s been a hard day…

Weekend Fun

Last week was a hard one.  I had 48 hours of what was quite possibly the worst hormonal upheaval I’ve ever experienced, and poor Russ had to live through it with me.  I was so relieved when I woke up Thursday morning and felt like myself again.  (And I give thanks that I don’t feel like that all of the time!) 

Friday we had decided that we would go to the temple, and so we set off for a lovely evening together. 

It was fun to walk around the temple and see what things were in bloom.  Our kids got to go and do service at the temple a few weeks ago—they pulled out bulbs and planted lots and lots of flowers.  The roses are also in bloom right now.

When we were done at the temple I was starving (of course) and it was kind of late so we stopped at a Panda Express for some orange chicken. 

I felt much better for having had some time with Russ.

 

Saturday morning when I woke up Russ reminded me that we were going to go to the Saturday Market downtown.  None of the kids wanted to go with us so we scrounged up some money for breakfast and walked downtown.  The weather was perfect and we bought fresh asparagus, tasted lots of samples, and bought breakfast burritos.  (And decided that we’d rather eat Russ’s at home, for about 20% of the cost!) 

I would like to point out that Hillsboro’s trash containers are also very PC.  They want to be sure that you know if you put it in there, it’s going to a landfill.

No euphemisms like “trash” for them! 

 

By the time we’d walked the mile or so back home, hand in hand the whole way, (cause we’re sappy like that) I was feeling quite spoiled by all of the time we’d had together. 

Saturday afternoon Russ had won tickets to the women’s soccer game in Portland.  In an unexpected coincidence the triplets had gone the day before on a full day field trip with the 6th grade to see the men’s soccer team play, and so Jared decided he’d had enough soccer for the week.  Josh also decided he didn’t want to go so I got to go with Russ and the girls.  We rode the MAX to the game—us and a bunch of our closest friends.  It was standing room only!

We had great seats.

The girl who sang the national anthem sang beautifully, and once again the crowd participation was fun to watch and made us all wish we had scarves!  I am always moved by a good rendition of the national anthem, and the crowd participation really adds to the experience for me.  Except that I can’t tell what they’re all shouting at the end.

When the game was over there were so many people at the MAX stop that we decided to walk to the next one.  Surely it wouldn’t be that far…right???  We walked,

and walked,

and walked.

 

We were pretty excited when we finally got to the next stop!  It was still pretty crowded so not everyone got to sit down…

It was a long day, and I was pretty much ready to pass out when we got home.  But it’s not often I get to spend 24 hours just hanging out with Russ, and I loved it!

Ancient Technology

One of the interesting things about moving is that you end up touching, at one point or another, things that you haven’t thought about in a long time.  The other day I opened a box and this is one of the things I unpacked.

As I pulled it from the box, memories slowly surfaced.  The first HP graphing calculator, it was required for one of Russ’s classes the semester after we got married.  It was the first piece of technology we owned, and it cost more than anything else we bought (other than car repairs) for a long long time.

I was overwhelmed by the cost but at the same time I understood what an investment this was in Russ’s education and our future.  That investment has paid off over and over again. 

Oh, how far we’ve come since this calculator…

 

(But now what do I do with it?)

My Lucky Day (post script)

I was just sorting through some pictures and realized that I hadn’t included these in my post about Russ’s birthday.  I will go back and add them in, but I just had to post them where they’ll be seen too because they’re such fun!  (Well except to my kids who were pretty grossed out….)

My Lucky Day

Yesterday was Russ’s birthday.  My lucky day.  Now you may think that I should have said it was his lucky day, and it is true that he is the one that got presents,

and a Costco chocolate cake covered in candles (48, to be exact)

and he is the one that blew out the candles.

(It was actually kind of amazing that he blew them all out—everyone was really impressed.)

But this year I am so very aware that the day we celebrate his birth is my lucky day. 

Oh how I love this man.

 

The last year+ has been difficult in our life together like few other times have been.  The combination of job loss, home improvements, new job, relocation at separate times, extended separation, etc., has been so much harder than I ever imagined it would be.  And Russ has been right there for me, every time I’ve needed him.  He’s hugged me while I’ve cried, supported me in my every crazy idea, made fajitas for me every night for a week when that’s what I wanted, been the best father ever, all while working a really tough new job.

He may have gotten the presents, but I’m still the lucky one…

 

PS—I felt like I didn’t want to celebrate his birthday with just our family, so yesterday morning I called 3 families in the ward and invited them to come over for cake & ice cream last night.  I was a little hesitant about doing it, and two of the husbands weren’t able to make it, but in the end it was really fun.  After eating the big group of kids (about 9) played games together and the parents stood around and talked.  It felt good.

(Not) Fall Drive

A couple of weeks ago when I was checking weather.com it popped up a window offering to tell me “the best drives of fall.”  Curious, I clicked.  Drive #3 was the Blue Ridge Parkway, and I felt a pang of homesickness for North Carolina.  Then I clicked on another window that offered to tell me the top 10 fall destinations.  And in the top 10?  The Columbia River Gorge.  I felt better—if I didn’t get to experience a fabulous NC fall, I could at least experience the Columbia River Gorge.  Our calendar has been so full that the only time I could figure out to go was on Conference Sunday after the last session.  We left the kids at home and Russ & I headed out in the convertible, top down and jackets on.

The convertible does NO favors for my hair.

We drove through the gorge and saw almost no fall color!  The evergreens were still green (of course) and most of the deciduous trees were as well.  After a while I decided I needed a bathroom but I didn’t tell Russ soon enough to stop at Multnomah Falls.  (Which probably would have been crazy crowded on a lovely Sunday afternoon, so perhaps just as well.)

Instead we drove a little farther to the Bonneville Dam.  It was nearly closing time, but we were able to run in, use the bathroom, and then take the elevator down and watch some salmon swim upstream.  (No strange pacific lamprey this time though.) 

Then we decided to stop at the fish hatchery that is near the dam.  I wish I’d taken more pictures—I was very entertained by the fact that the buildings at the dam and hatchery are all super formal & beautiful.  There was one building that looked like it might be a home, or even a bed & breakfast, but no—it was the egg incubation house.

The best part of the fish hatchery was the rose garden and the giant sturgeon.

(So glad there was someone there to interpret!)

The sturgeon were really huge.  Perhaps big enough to keep me from ever recreationally going into the Columbia River.  (Not that I know if people do swim recreationally in the Columbia.)  Apparently they can live for almost a century and grow to be 10 feet long, and they’re not very far removed from the prehistoric.

Gigantic sturgeon

As we left the fish hatchery we could tell the sun was getting low.  The light was beautiful.

I didn’t want to wait for the sunset at the fish hatchery, but then as we were driving and it was clear the sun was truly beginning to set I was sad not to be watching it by the river.  (There are so many huge trees along the road that quite often you can’t see the river at all.)  Bless Russ’s heart—he really indulges me so much.  He pulled off on an exit that turned out to be a boat ramp, and we drove to the bottom right by the river to watch the sunset.  I had been trying to take sunset pictures for weeks, so I had a great time taking pictures.

It may not have been the drive full of fall beauty that I planned, but an afternoon spent with Russ is always a success to me!

Totally Spoiled

Look what Russ made me for breakfast before we leave on our trip-back-across-the-country.

Scrambled eggs with onions, zucchini, and leftover roast beef (fabulous!) and fried potatoes.  I will drive east (do you know how strange that feels—to start my trip by driving east?) with a happy stomach.  It is no wonder that I love this man so much.  Do you know, the first time he ever made me fried potatoes was on our honeymoon in Litchfield, SC.  (Our first beach trip.)  He had me at potato…

PS—breakfast included a piece of toast topped with the marionberry jam I made the other night.  Spectacular!

The Sock Fairy

Once when we were living in married student housing at BYU I remember hearing another young wife (married for a few years) complaining about her husband’s lack of awareness of the things she did for him.  “It’s like,” she said, “he thinks that the sock fairy just puts those clean socks in his drawer every week.”  At the time I was amused by her comment and grateful that Russ & I did the laundry together. 

In the intervening years the laundry system in our home has gone through a lot of stages.  The best stage lasted for a couple of years when we paid Jason a ridiculously small amount of money every month to keep the laundry folded.  After he left for college & then Chile the laundry devolved back into what we referred to fondly as “the Laundry Hall of Shame.”  (Sorry—I know I’ve taken pictures of the laundry hall of shame in the past when it was particularly overwhelming but I can’t seem to find any right now.  Just imagine that long hall outside of our NC laundry room filled with baskets of clean clothes, and then more baskets stacked on top of those.  I know…shameful…)

Here in the apartment there is no room for laundry, literally.  Last week when our stuff came out of storage (and into storage in 2 garages here at the apartment complex) we got more of the green couch and the ottoman as well.  We’re sitting much more comfortably but there is NO extra room for laundry baskets or anything else. 

Our bedroom is almost as crowded, and still has boxes waiting to be unpacked in it so there’s no room for laundry to sit around in there waiting to be folded either.  I decided that really the best thing is for me to go ahead and fold laundry right out of the dryer.  Not that there’s much room for me in front of the dryer either—the laundry room here is a combo laundry room/pantry and with the addition of more shelves (we were desperate for more pantry space) there’s not a lot of room between the shelves and the washer & dryer. 

So there I stand, wedged between the ramen and the dryer, folding the clothes.

Yesterday as I stood there folding the laundry the thought flitted though my mind that Russ probably wasn’t going to even notice that the laundry had been done, even after me squeezing into the laundry room to fold all of it.  The “sock fairy” comment from all of those years ago passed back through my mind and for a moment I felt a connection with that young wife so many years ago—unappreciated in my service for my husband.

And then I had another thought, one that brought  me back to reality with a sharp jab.  I wondered how many times I have not appreciated the “money fairy” in our marriage.  How often (and it is more often than it should be) do I forget to appreciate enough that Russ works long and hard to provide for us.  I listened carefully to him describing his job to someone the other night in hopes that when it was over I would finally know what it is that he does for a living.  Nope, I still don’t, although I did notice that now he manages an environment in addition to the kinds of things he used to do.  What I do know is that he works a lot, that what he does is often stressful, and that his days are long. 

Next time when I’m folding the laundry I’m going to think of myself as the sock fairy, helping out the money fairy.  And I’m going to be really super grateful for all that the money fairy does for us, both at work and here at home.  And then when he comes home from work I’m going to give him a big kiss and tell him that I hope he enjoys those clean socks.  Not that he’s never going to have to fold socks himself again—that would be unrealistic to expect.  But I am going to work on being more consistently aware of what it is that he does for us every single day. 

Thank you, money fairy!!!

SKYPE Will Keep Us Together

I was really apprehensive when I realized that Russ & I were going to be spending a huge chunk of time apart.  I mean sure, I go to Utah for a week every spring.  And drive there with the kids sometimes in the summer.  I even went to help my sister with her twins last spring and was gone for 2 1/2 weeks.

But this?  I knew this was going to be much, much longer.

And quite honestly, folks, we just don’t do that great on the telephone.  It’s not for lack of trying, most of the time—it’s just the way it is.

Fortunately technology has made our time apart so much easier.  Let me say that again.  So Much Easier than it would otherwise have been.  Thanks to Skype, we can video chat every morning and every night. (Except for when I’m having book club, because let’s be serious—I’d ignore him on book club night even if he was home!) I am amazed at how much better (BETTER!!!!) we do with video chatting.  I don’t know what it is, but being able to see each other while we’re talking just seems to make all the difference in the world as to how connected to each other we feel.

Now I know that some people (not gonna mention your name, Lindsay!) get annoyed when their spouses are watching themselves and making faces in skype, but Russ just laughs at me when I do it.  And he’s really nice and sweet when I just sit there and cry from sadness and exhaustion.  And he entertains me too.  As long as we have to be across the country from each other, this sure makes it a lot better. 

I told Russ to smile for the camera so that I could record a picture for posterity.  So here you have it, posterity…

He sure keeps me entertained!

A Quarter of a Century

 

I sat behind them on Sunday, watched them snuggle close together on their bench.  I watched her rub his shoulder and saw him tenderly take her hand.  It made me smile, because I remember being that young couple, married for only a few days.  I remember the joy in thinking that he was mine now, mine forever.  I remember feeling like I would never be able to get enough of him.  I remember it almost like it was yesterday.

But it wasn’t yesterday, it was 9,125 yesterdays ago—twenty five years.  More time than I could comprehend then, and more time than I can believe has passed now.   I think to myself, “today we have been married 25 years,” and I can hardly fathom it.

Today, even though we are temporarily apart, I will be celebrating our life together.  Today I will be thinking about how amazing it is that this

became this.

Today I will be thinking of how lucky I got all those years ago, and that I never could have known how good this was all going to be.  Hard times, yes.  Stressful moments, sure.  But overall, happiness like I never dared to hope for.

 

Happy anniversary, Russ—I love you!!!

Happiness is…

 

Living in the same house, even if it was only for the weekend…

Science Class

Jenna during a thunder storm last week: I see that there are lots of negatively charged ions in the clouds and positively charged ions on the ground.

Me: I see you have been doing science with Dad again.

 

I have been busy working on the house for months now, it seems.  One of the unfortunate side effects is that I usually haven’t had time for the fun stuff I was doing with the kids for school.  They still do the basics on their own, but none of the extras that I like to do with them.

At some point Russ offered to help out, and I handed him a stack of science books.  Here, I told him, pick something fun because they’re dying to do science.  And he did.

The result has been terrific.  I have loved watching him prepare a lesson and then teach it to the little kids.  Since he’s been in Oregon they still have science class several times a week via skype.  Every time I see/hear it happening, it warms the cockles of my heart.

My did I choose my kids a great dad…

 

More great logic from Jenna:

Me: Do you want a bacon, egg, & cheese biscuit from BoJangles?
Her: No, their cheese tastes like macaroni.  And I don’t like macaroni with my egg…

The first day of the rest of our lives…

Dear Russ,

Twenty-two years ago on New Year’s day we headed north from Provo to Pocatello, ready to start the next part of our life together—“the job years.”  I didn’t really know what to expect.  There were times during your last semester at BYU, when you were flying all over for job interviews and trying to study for all of your classes too, when you thought that maybe you had chosen the wrong major.  But then you finished the semester with several job offers in hand and a better GPA than expected as well.  And off we went, so poor that you wore your suit pants to work for two weeks until you got paid and could afford some new pants. 

It’s been many years and quite a few jobs since that first paycheck.  I know that each one of your jobs has been a blessing from Heavenly Father, but they’ve also happened because whatever it is that you do (and I have only the vaguest of idea what that is), you do it very well indeed.  One of the tender mercies of your being laid off was that we both received quite a bit of feedback from people you were working with and had worked with about your abilities as a CAD engineer.  One of the people left at your old company lamented that he didn’t know how they would all get their work done without you to support them.  Your first boss here told you,

“You are the best front-end CAD Engineer I know…”

And one of your friends wrote a recommendation for you on LinkedIn that I think I will treasure forever.  It gave me a peek into your working world and made me so proud of you and both the man and the engineer you’ve become.  He said,

“Over the years that I knew and worked with Russ at Mitsubishi and later at Renesas, Russ developed the well-earned reputation as the quiet guru and miracle worker of logic synthesis and chip layout. Russ has all the qualities that you'd want in a CAD engineer: he's calm and unflappable, hypercompetent yet unassuming, highly methodical yet imaginative and creative. He gets the job done and he works well with anyone. In any high-tech industry, egotism, arrogance, and the tensions between type-A personalities can run pretty high, but everyone liked and respected Russ. He was friend to all and mentor to many. Russ is kind of a cross between Buddha and the character "Seraph" from The Matrix Trilogy. He is a talented problem solver and someone who brings tremendous experience and insight to any project. He is also a calming presence. For reasons that nobody could really explain, just having Russ on the team made everything, even tasks that Russ wasn't involved in, run more smoothly. I even had a phrase for it: "X + Russ = 3X". I'm a patent attorney now instead of a chip designer, but if I was starting my own design company, Russ would be employee #2, if I was lucky enough to get him.”

 

I know that new beginnings are awkward and that it will take you a while to hit your stride at Intel.  But I have total confidence in you.  I am so proud of you, so glad that you are mine, and I CAN’T WAIT until we are together again,

All my love,
Cindy