Resolution Recap

 

You know I never wrote any of my resolutions down until I blogged about each one.  I’m kind of curious to write them down in a list and see how they look.  So here goes!

 

• Be deliberate in my computer use.
• Keep working on getting organized—get hot spots under control.
• Be ready for bed at 9.
• Eat more fruits & veggies.  Esp more veggies.  (I served brussel sprouts the other night.  They were not a hit, but I am going to keep trying!)
• Use my driving time (esp calling related driving time) productively.
• Keep track of what I read on Goodreads.

 

Wow—now that I’ve written them all down in a list it really doesn’t look like so much, does it.  And it makes me realize that there are 2 other things I’d like to add to my goals this year.

 

1. Keep track of and act on inspiration that has to do with other people.  Rather often I’ll feel a little prompting to do something for someone—not usually a big grand gesture, but usually something small.  The problem is that I don’t do a good job of keeping track of these promptings, especially if I’m away from home when they happen.  So I’m going to do a better job by using my phone to text the prompting to my email.  I know that sounds like a crazy way to remember, but if it’s in my email later when I check, then I can follow through on whatever I feel I should do.
2. Give baby gifts.  (LOL)  I love people’s babies.  I love it when people I know have babies.  But I never REMEMBER to give baby gifts—even when I already have something here in my house to give!  I haven’t thought of a strategy yet, but I’m going to figure this one out, so that the people I know will know that I’m excited about their babies!

 

I think that one other thing I want to do is schedule a resolution check every month.  I’m going to put it on my calendar right now, in fact I’m going to schedule it for a Wednesday night each month because that’s a time I’m likely to be alone.  I think that this will help me stay motivated to keep working on these things, and also give me a chance to tweak goals as needed.

New Year’s Resolution #61 (the final frontier, I promise!)

I’ve been working for several months now on putting this final resolution into practice, which, ironically, is why it’s taken so long to blog about it.

My final resolution for this year is…(you’re thinking a drum roll for me in your head, aren’t you?)

 

…to be more DELIBERATE with my computer time.

 

Whenever I’m asked about television watching I say that I don’t watch much tv.  We’ve been cable/satellite free for many years now and it’s more of an effort to keep track of what’s on since we only have 1 tv with a digital conversion box.  But I always follow up with the comment that even though I don’t watch tv I have other poisons.

I know that I am capable of spending way too much of my life on the computer.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing—there are really good and valuable things I want and need to do on the computer.  For example:

• pay bills
• work on the budget
• correspondence/email
• work with pictures I’ve taken
• scrapbook
• blog!
• make slideshows
• make a new blog book

And I’m sure that’s just a short list.

 

On the other hand I have a house full of responsibilities that need (even demand) my time and attention.  A couple of weeks ago Russ, Josh & I watched a CES broadcast by Elder Bednar from 2009.  At the end of his talk he asked the following two questions.

1. Does the use of various technologies and media invite or impede the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost in your life?

2. Does the time you spend using various technologies and media enlarge or restrict your capacity to live, to love, and to serve in meaningful ways?

Those questions made me stop and think for a while.  Sure, I may not be immersed in a virtual world killing as many aliens as possible.  I may not be (like the example in his talk) creating a virtual life with a stranger and ignoring my real family.  But I know that it is possible for me to blog about my family so much that I ignore and become irritated by my family.  The same could be said about anything else I do on the computer—instead of being a tool to serve my family, it can become something that prevents me from loving them and interacting with them like I should.

 

I had/have no desire to give up my computer completely.  It’s a valuable tool and it enriches my life daily.  Right now the computer is enhancing our meals because I’m addicted to food blogs and so we’re having lots of new food.  It holds zillions of pictures and helps me interact quickly with people everywhere. 

 

I decided that what I wanted to focus in on was the “checked-out-on-the-computer” times.  Random surfing in any form.  I want to stay off of the computer at the wrong times (times when I should be doing something else) and be careful & deliberate about my computer use at other times.  I know for me being tired makes it much more likely to aimlessly sit at my computer reading who knows what, and I want to decrease that too.

 

So far it’s going pretty well.  I’m doing better being careful in my computer use.  Sometimes that means I blog less, or it takes me longer to get to something, but so be it.   My real world needs to be my priority—both in word and action. 

New Year’s Resolution # 87

Don’t you just love that it’s the middle of February and I’m still talking about my resolutions?  I thought so!

It’s actually been really good for me to think about these over a couple of months.  And let’s be very real here, it’s very unlikely that I will EVER spend the month of December thinking about anything other than December!  (Between my birthday and Christmas, how would I think about anything else?)

So here’s the next resolution.

Get organized.

Now this may sound extreme and perhaps even a little over-reaching, but I’ve been working on this goal for almost 6 months ago, and it’s really happening.  I’ve read several organization-for-Dummies type books and gotten ideas that help my naturally unorganized brain.  I’ve given away lots of stuff and I am thrilled with the way my house is feeling.  But there are a couple of hot spots that just seem to gather chaos faster than I (naturally unorganized brain, remember?) can figure out how to deal with it.  (See picture of desk above.)

This is my challenge for 2011.  Conquer those areas, but even more importantly, figure out what strategies enable me to keep up with the piles.  I can tell already that one strategy is dealing with as much stuff in the moment as possible.  The mail pile—if added to the already existing pile it becomes overwhelming, so I just need to deal with it in the moment that it is in my hand.  I’m also working on having some fluid/temporary file folders in my filing drawer that can hold things until I need them. 

I used to have 2 sets of book ends on my desk, and I “grounded” myself from them a couple of months ago since I figured they were just adding to the clutter.  I think I have to put one of them back, because this is the logical place for my library books to live—I just need to make sure other books don’t land there since they do tend to breed.

And interestingly enough, I’ve learned that I’m much better off if I fold all of the clothes right out of the dryer (except for the whites) and put them away—then they don’t just stack up in the “laundry hall of shame.”  (Now I should tell you that I don’t do my kid’s laundry—they do their own.  So I’m only talking about household laundry & mine & Russ’s.  Before you get too impressed.)

 

I’ve been really helped in my efforts to organize my house by reading two books that have been teaching me how to do a better job of making change really happen.  The first one I’ve already mentioned, called “This Year I Will,” and the second is called “Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals.”  Good stuff!

New Year’s Resolution # 17

Go to Bed!!!

I envy people who can get by with just a few hours of sleep.  Real true serious envy.  Because in my life, everything is dictated by sleep.  How much I’ve had, how much I’m going to need, and how well I am (or am not) functioning because of it.

I’ve known for a long time now that one of the great ironies of my life is that the quality of my day is greatly determined by what time I go to bed the night before.  If I stay up late (and don’t all parents want to stay up late, savoring that “alone time”?!?!?) then I pay for it the next day when I’m dragging, unmotivated, listless, short-tempered, and desperate for a nap.  If I get plenty of rest the night before then it seems the sky is the limit the next day.  I enjoy my kids, want to spend time with them, read to them, play games, cook good food, etc. 

 

Sleep makes all the difference in the world to me.

 

For the last couple of years I’ve thought again at the beginning of the year that I really should make a resolution to go to bed earlier.  But I’ve always been reluctant to voice it, and even if I’ve tentatively resolved in my heart the resolution has been quickly broken and abandoned.

 

This year I have a different plan.

 

1) Since Russ has to drive Josh to seminary again this year, he is getting up at 4:55 AM.  Yes you read that right—we live so far away from the church that he has to get up before 5AM every school day.  And he may need less sleep than I do, but not that much less.  So Russ definitely needs to go to bed earlier.  And I really prefer going to bed at the same time that Russ does.  I love to snuggle up with him and talk for a while before we go to our own sides of the bed to go to sleep.  That snuggling is often the best reconnection we get during the day—we don’t see each other in the morning (hello, did you think I was capable of getting up at the crack of dawn?!?) and when he gets home the kids are all clamoring for his attention.  Sometimes we watch a tv show together in the evening, but that’s still not the kind of quality time I really crave. 

2)  I’ve realized that it takes me approximately 49.8 times longer to get ready for bed than it does Russ.  Which means it takes him 30 seconds (brush teeth, get pjs) and it takes me 20 minutes.  (Clean off counters, put away 3 things left on stairs, Brush, floss, start a load of laundry, remove eye makeup, wash face, put away 7 random things that have landed on the bathroom counter, squirt salt water up nose, blow nose repeatedly, fold basket of laundry, put on pjs, straighten books, etc.)  Now the reason that this is a problem is that during the 20 minutes that I am getting ready for bed, while Russ is already in bed, there is a complete and total possibility that he will have fallen soundly asleep.  (By virtue of the fact that it only takes him 30 seconds to fall asleep, which means in essence that 1 minute after starting to get ready for bed the man is asleep.  I kid you not.) 

3) Both of these facts bring me to my plan to accomplish my resolution.   And that is this: Be ready for bed at 9pm.  If we watch a tv show from 8-9, I can get ready for bed during the commercials.  If Russ is ready to go to sleep right at 9 then great, so am I.  If I get ready for bed and he’s not quite ready to go to sleep then I can either hang out with him or find something else to do for a while.  (Heaven knows I can always find something to do, even in my pjs.)  My hope is that thinking about going to bed earlier will mean I get more sleep, Russ gets more sleep,  we get more time together, and my days go better.  How’s that for a lofty goal?

4) Now I know from past experience that my tendency would be to abandon a goal that doesn’t seem to be working just as I had intended.  But fortunately for me (and poor tired Russ) this year I’ve read a couple of books that address this issue.  One of them, titled “This Year I Will…” says that we must expect that as we work towards our goals there will be times we do not succeed—that is a normal part of the change process.  And instead of throwing up our hands in defeat and giving up on that goal, we need to be prepared for these failures.  So this month I’ve been paying attention to how & when I get ready for and go to bed.  And on the few occasions that I’ve not managed to go to bed with Russ and have stayed up way too late, I’ve calmly analyzed my night and figured out where I went wrong, and what I need to remember the next day.  No sense of failure, no need to give up!

 

 

PS—I totally recommend that book to anyone interested in information on how to be successful in making changes in your life.  It’s called “This Year I Will” and it’s by MJ Ryan. It’s so good I’m actually going to buy it.  Which is saying a lot because I rarely buy books.  (I also recommend her book “The Happiness Makeover.”  Which I also bought.)

New Year’s Resolution #2

 

For heaven’s sake, eat more fruits and vegetables!

When I was on the hcg diet in the fall I was allowed 2 servings of fruit a day (out of a list of 4 fruits) and 2 servings of vegetables a day.  (Out of a list of about 8.)  I tell you what, fruit has NEVER tasted so good.  Every day I ate that apple and it was one of the highlights of my day.  Same thing with the orange.  I LOVE fruit.  But in my day to day life I sometimes just forget to eat it.  When we’re having green smoothies I get plenty of fruit, but otherwise when I’m hungry I’ll just get lazy and grab something easy, something that doesn’t have to be cut or peeled, or whatever. 

It also made me realize how lax I’ve become about serving vegetables to my family.  If we had the big box of salad from costco then we had a vegetable with dinner.  If not, nothing.  Now on the one hand I can rationalize that if I’m serving dinner at all, that’s awesome.  But I want to do better.  I actually really like a lot of different vegetables, and I want my kids to both like them and to benefit from a better diet.  So I’m trying to reform.

I haven’t quite figured out how, though…except that maybe after I do my shopping and buy the vegetables that are available I need to pencil them in on my menu…I’ll let you know how it works!!

New Year’s Resolution #25

With my new calling comes more time alone in my car.  Now if you’ve ever driven far with 3 -10 year olds and 2 -8 year olds in the back of a minivan (I do this for 2+ hours once or twice a month) you’d understand that I actually like time alone in my car.  But this is a lot of time and I want to make it useful.  So my goal is to not only have appropriate Sabbath music with me when I’m going to another ward on Sunday, but also to have talks on cd or my mp3 player to listen to so that my driving time is edifying.

And to get all of that arranged early enough so that it doesn’t make me late for church like it did today!!

 

This morning I realized I didn’t have anything to listen to on my drive to Chapel Hill, so I quickly logged onto the byu talks website and downloaded the first thing I saw.  It happened to be a CES fireside by Elder Bednar from 2 years ago, and as I listened on my way to and from Chapel Hill I knew that this talk was divine intervention in my life in this moment.  We have been struggling to figure out what appropriate limits are for Josh and the xbox.  (Funny—since I felt prompted by the spirit that buying the xbox was the right thing to do, I kind of assumed that we wouldn’t have these kinds of problems with it!  Silly me…)  Anyway, the talk was tremendously helpful to me in clarifying my concerns.  Tonight we put the little kids in bed and had a family home evening just with me, Russ, and Josh.  We watched the fireside together and took notes on the things that stood out to us.  Afterwards we talked about what we felt the spirit had been telling us we needed to work on, and what we felt the spirit telling us to help us with the xbox dilemma.  Josh wasn’t happy about it (and why would he be?) but I feel like we were able to have an important and positive conversation.  And my hands are sore from rubbing his back the whole time so that he would know that no matter what I was saying, I love him.  Anyway, I was grateful for that talk just being the one I saw and being the one I needed in this moment.  I love it when I can see the hand of the Lord so clearly…

New Year’s Resolution #12 & a Book Review Too

Here’s a resolution that will probably surprise anyone who ever friended me on Goodreads, only to find out that I never actually use Goodreads:

I’m gonna do it this year.  Resolved.  I promise.

In the beginning I thought Goodreads was a great idea.  But do you know what happened?  Ratings.  The idea of having to assign a rating to each book I read just shut down my brain big time.  I couldn’t figure out what three stars should mean.  Was it like a C in school; theoretically an “average” grade, but in reality might as well be failing?  The stress of grappling with these weighty issues was too much for my fragile mental state and I resigned myself to a life of enjoying everyone else’s Goodreads reports but never having one of my own.

But after thinking about it for at least a year, I’ve figured out my own personal rating system.

★★★★★  = fabulous, worth reading more than once and even buying.
★★★★ = a great book, one that I’d read again but wouldn’t buy.
★★★= enjoyable but not something that I’d read again.
★★= OK, I finished it but wasn’t thrilled.
★= Not worth my time, wish I hadn’t read it, or didn’t finish.

Can I tell you what a weight off my brain it is to have that figured out?!?  Now I just have to remember what my Goodreads password is!

Book Review: Saving CeeCee Honeycutt

I saw this book recommended a few places and got it from the library to read over the holidays.  It was a fun choice.

CeeCee Honeycutt is a 12 year old child who has been raised by a mentally ill mother.  When her mother dies she is taken to Savannah to spend the summer with her great-aunt.  The synopsis on the inside of the cover intrigued me, since it promised that this is “a book of feminine wisdom.”  I decided to keep track of the bits of wisdom, and I wasn’t disappointed.  Read the book—it's like a gentle Savannah hug.  And in the meantime, here’s some feminine wisdom for you:

• Do something too often and it stops being special.
• Just set up as best you can…we’ll play with whatever we got.
• This is what friends should do: cherish the good and pretend not to notice the harmless rest.
• It’s what we believe about ourselves that determines how others see us.
• Don’t go wastin’ all them bright tomorrows you ain’t ever seen by hangin’ on to what happened yesteryear.
• Wisdom comes from experience—from knowing each day is a gift and accepting it with gladness.
• Its how we survive the hurts in life that brings us strength and gives us our beauty.